Rueful Response to a Query: What Were You Thinking?

May 06, 2009

It’s not so bad, really. Just another
scrape on the allegorical knees 
stumbling over how perfect 
you could have been. After all, for me, 
there are only sighs, silent  
eruptions of longing 
coalescing into something 
hard: bullet-like and never ever to be 
bitten because of one reason 
or another. Cuts like these 
never matter. I bought one hundred 
band-aids printed with yellow smileys--
in a strange Comedian-esque 
fashion. It helps to grin 
while pieces of you meld against
my soul like candle-tallows on naked
skin--burning a mark that leaves
a space of purity even when it hurts. 
All of these happened 
before, again, tomorrow, 
next time I wrack my head
for reasons why 

you should stay. I never 

come up with anything, except, 
to shove back into my pockets 
fists that clench tightly 
holding the radiance of our hours, 
when my world becomes utterly still, 
wrapped up and alone
within the expanding,
unconscious joy of your laugh.    

blue rogue