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May 11, 2005
We all love a good joke. Except if you are the fool on the hill, speaking with a thousand voices, unheard and hearing nothing. ON GREEN VELVET Dealing a heart was my misfortune. And at the wake of this last move, I mooned, restless, dangling on the verge of another unfinished solitaire. I turned the cards too fast, too sure. My clumsy shuffling on purpose, as if trying to maintain the lucidity of an ordered deck as if trying to stall the inevitable limbo that follows a game of chance. The boldness of red, the tightness of black, and the simplicity of the goal simmers on the surface of my concentration. But they are elusive. An expert wrist flicking with ease, my mismatched cards and inscrutable longings. After a thousand cards involving a thousand choices I am yet to deal with the phantoms of discarded games and the joker's hand I've been playing with all along. blue rogue |